its been..
2 weeks plus ever since attachment started? 
life has been crazy since day 1. 
ive learnt alot.
more than i ever knew.
politics.
people relations
how to be yourself.
how to be smart. 
time just flies without even knowing it. 

was watching the women on star movies just now.
when it suddenly just struck me. 
WHAT DO I WANT
i realised.
ive been leading a life of what others want
i dont have my own mind
my own thinking.
lack of self confidence.
indecisive 
this is just not who i wanna be.
i feel miserable sometimes. 
cus i dont know who i really am.
so im gonna promise myself.
that from tday onwards.
im gonna find my real self.
someone i really am. 
and i know. i hope.
that i'll find me.
someday.
somehow. 

im supposed to sleep now cus ive to wake up in 5 hrs time for attachment
xzxzxczxczxcxz
yikes!
im super nervous!
cus.
i'd rather go in brand new.
than to return for attachment.
i dont now what they expectations of me are gonna be.
cus.
i feel that ive aged much more ever since i left there last year.
i might not be that same girl who laughs like spongebob anymore.
i might not be that cheerful anymore.
like.. more worn out kinda thing
owells. we shall see tmr shall we.

im kinda glad attachment's starting in a way cause.
i will stop eating non stop!
this whole week has been. madness.
im either out the whole day
or staying at home all day
watching tv
and eating every single hour.
hgflsdfmlksdmflksjofjclkdxzjcmv

check list.
black heels - bag
black stockings - bag
2 passport size photos - wallet
bankbook - bag
pen - bag
lipstick - MUST BRING TMR.
hairspray - bag

event after work 
court shoes - bag
shirt - bag
pants - bag
wine opener - bag
stuff needed to bun hair. - oh shit lemme go find. do i have a net!? 

 

its nearing 4
and i cant really sleep
i feel so free now!
no more mugging for papers evryday
no more gg to sleep thinking that i havent studied enough
after 2 whole weeks of studying
feels even worse than olvls.
geeeeeeeeee.

o.v.e.r
my heart feels light yet heavy at the same time. 
after so much struggles
so many tug of wars
so many heartaches.
im drained. 

 EXAMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXZZZZZZZZZ.

wellll.
i think.
studyin 4 hrs a day is quite slack.
but thats all my brain can absorb.
4 more papers! 

i used to have a best friend.
one whom i have sleepovers with
one who introduced me to a whole new world
one who walked me out of hell.
literally stayed with me throughout the tough time.
somewhere.
along the way
things changed.
i wouldnt say for the better or worse.
but.
she's in LA now.
and i miss her.
took much time to admit.
but its so true. 

i just realised.
i dont have any photos with her ):

makeup is very very addictive.
walked past DIOR's counter just now.
got so tempted by the new nude range of makeup!
$$$$$$$$
was telling my mum.
my money wont be spent on clothes but all on makeup insteadddddd.
grrrrr.

went to geylang in the night 
ahem
part-time ah.
haha NOT FUNNY
anyway
i had dimsum!
and it was quite gd ah.
mayb it was the company
anyone wanna go there and eat? :D

i want dior..
 

sometimes you just want to be on your own.

but then again.
I AM VERY GLAD TO HAVE THE BIMBS AROUND ME!
a pity i couldnt go hard rock ytd night ):
it sounds so fun! 
im glad to have..
sabby listening to me gg on and on abt you know who evryday
glad to have ena who share the same views with me abt evrything
glad to have aderyl who can cheer me up whenever i see her
last but not least..
aqilah who always brings the fun back into life. 

now its just gonna be chalet chalet chalet! 

anyway.
its times when you have to travel real far.
that you really want a car
who created upper thomson rd.
stupid. 

was quite a wreck today.
thankfully ryoma insisted on meeting me 
broke down while talking to him.
shit yuyi can you stop being so emo!?!?

guess things were piling up all this while
sky high.
anyway.
there seems to be a twist in this whole drama.
but.
it only makes me see how bad it already is.

and and and
i need to stop watching tv!

 i know ive got ppl arnd me
ive the bimbs
ive my gd friends all ard.

but.
suddenly
i feel
so
so
alone.

maybitsthefirstfewstepstomovingon